If this were a Tuesday night like others recently, after the kids are in bed, and I have most of the week's teaching already under my belt—a strange expression little attended to—I might have abandoned work for the evening, opened a can of beer, and settled down to an episode of Breaking Bad.
I understand that the fifth series aired and completed in the US about three years ago, but Netflix came late to Japan—in fact, it still isn't available, officially—so it is only in the last couple of months that what critics call the 'best tv drama series ever made' came to my attention. Not that I needed a critic, much less than army of them, to tell me I was witnessing an historic phenomenon—in all my life I have never seen an American-produced series like this. Breaking Bad is, in the truest sense, an awesome piece of theatre. There are no two-dimensional roles, and every adult character is as believable, and weirdly attractive, as they are fatally flawed (Walt Jr. lacks depth, but probably no more than the average teenager). Above all, there are no good guys. Add to that the stunning visuals of Alberquerque and the desert skies and a rich vein of black humour, and I was—or have been— hooked.
Except that just now, three episodes in to the fifth series, I can't watch it anymore (I think!). It ceased to be entertaining, and became just horrific, when I realized that Walter White is—and always was—Evil personified. There was no breaking bad, there is only the gradual shedding of a semblance of moral grappling. What is particularly upsetting is that it took 36 episodes for me to realize that WW was not a weak man challenged and ultimately changed by traumatic circumstances—his partner-in-crime Jesse and every other bad guy, especially Gus, has been so altered—but an evil man that instinctively, almost reflexively chooses the inhumane option. (Skylar is a piece of work, too, but not at Walter's supernatural level). At any point over the last 30 episodes, Walter could have broken down, called it quits, tried to 'do the right thing'. But it only gets more and more awful. It's not the violence, it's the sheer absence of compassion.
I see a darkness.
And so I've stopped for now. I can't take anymore, no matter how brilliant it is, both literally (the South West sun) and figuratively. Because it so offends the naive philosophy that gets me through life, namely, despite the daily news reports suggesting otherwise, that evil is not a vital force, but—like darkness, only the absence of light, the consequence of greed and fear and shallow selfishness. Walter White is a Manichaean figure, truly a Hellraiser (which is apparently what 'breaking bad' means. So I missed even the first clue). I may have to go back to the absurd clichés of Criminal Minds, to find some comfort.
"There must be some way out of here," said the joker to the thief, "There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief. Dylan, All along the Watchtower.
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