Devenish

Either I am a poor excuse for a father, or everyone else is lying to themselves and others about family life. (Or both, of course: I’ve been teaching enough basic logic recently to know that these are not mutually exclusive options, that both propositions can be true simultaneously, even if it is not especially likely in this conversational context.) Assuming the latter—at least for now, to maintain the illusions necessary to keep me from running away come Saturday morning—there are some home truths that could do with an airing. Click to play The first is this: weekends with children are really hard. As much as I love my kids, 48 hours at a stretch…is a stretch. Like Peter Cook in speaking of his intestines—though, in this particular clip the immortal line “I wish my intestines were shorter” is tragically omitted—I sincerely wish the same of my weekends. This desire is likely a reflection in part of my own childhood, when—from the age of 8—I had school six days a week, where my we

Click to play. This week finds me in an interesting quasi-ethical dilemma, one that must be familiar to any parent of a disabled child, but which is new to me.* The quandary is only quasi-ethical because it does not materially affect our behavior or course or action—we will do the same thing either way—but rather pertains to our hopes for Justin: is it ever right to hope for the worse? Let me explain. On Friday, we will take him to a clinic for his condition to be assessed. If his physical and cognitive development is assessed as falling below a certain threshold relative to typically developing children, he will be entitled to additional state services, therapies and assistance, including a personal carer in his nursery; if he is deemed above the threshold, he will not receive these services. Since every child, however close to normal, must benefit from such assistance—as the Tesco slogan has it "Every little helps"—I have to wonder: what to wish for? (Benign administrati

Click to play Other demands in the last couple of weeks, including a trip to Vietnam and the attendant preparations, forced me to postpone posting this set of pictures. Even now, I'll have to keep it short as I'm way behind on other chores and work priorities. Nevertheless, it's important to record what a good year it has been for Justin, and how lucky we have been that he is growing and developing so well. (Ayumi took him yesterday to Tsukaguchi hospital for his monthly checkup: developmentally, he scores 80 on a scale where the median typically-developing child is 100, and where the average Down's child score is 60. Given that he is only just one year old, this is really encouraging news.)  He also pulled himself up to a kneeling position beside the coffee table, and is gradually learning to drink using a straw. These may not be monumental achievements, but for us, they are milestones of a sort. Without wishing to tempt fate we should celebrate his good health and