Remembering Eugene

The title of this piece is misleading, for it assumes that I knew Eugene. In point of fact, I'm not certain that we ever met, Eugene Moloney and me (or Maloney, the BBC doesn't seem too sure of the spelling). What I do know for sure is that he was a very good friend of my brother-in-law Peter, and of my sister Aislinn, and—by all accounts—the most decent and generous 'courtesy uncle' that any child could have for my niece and nephews.

I also know that he is dead at 55, the victim of a casual assault, killed as he walked home in the early hours of last Sunday morning in Dublin. Thanks to the otherwise loathesome cctv, the guards have arrested and charged the alleged perpetrator—one Gary Burch, 21, a trainee mechanic. (I've never figured out why age and profession are relevant in crime reporting, unless in the first case it is to exonerate namesakes who happen not to share birth year, or in the second, the profession happens to be 'contract killer': but there it is, we are always given these data.) Yet no conviction will bring Eugene back, or provide comfort to those of us who miss him, however vicariously. Each premature death is tragic, but Eugene's is especially sad, so generous and good-hearted was he to all who knew him.

The secret of happiness?

Every week, it seems, I am reminded by the early deaths of those close to me—immediate family, friends and colleagues—of the vital (!) importance of living more in the moment than has been my habit these past twenty years. I am not just mindful of it, but living it more day by day: abandoning longer term projects, ending each day better, focussing on this day, and the near future, trying to rerank the Experiencing Self above the Remembering Self (thanks to Jenny Dalalakis, for directing me to Daniel Kahneman's work). It's a struggle sometimes, but even after only a few months, especially since the death of my colleague Michael Siegal, who set too much stock in the future, I'm quite sure it's worthwhile...

So here's hope. Eugene, farewell.

"You can know how satisfied a person is with their life, and that really doesn't teach you anything about how happily they are living their life. And vice versa... " — Daniel Kahneman).

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