Click to play (Peter Gabriel)
Peter Gabriel was surely thinking of a different kind of love when he wrote this song, one of his most moving. Still, it expresses better than anything I can think up how much of a saving grace Justin is for me, and for all of the family. Being a parent is the hardest thing I have ever done, not least because—whether for personal reasons, or reasons of gender, or of age or socialization—I am not able to see parenting as an achievement of any kind: no matter that it takes 85% of my energy and effort, I cannot measure or register any success, but only the many times I fall short. 'I get so lost, sometimes...'
Looking into Justin's eyes does not validate my role, but it does give me the strength to go on, to ignore what Kahneman calls 'the remembering self' (so concerned with legacy and achievement), to 'reach out from the inside.'
Thanks, Peter!
Love I get so lost, sometimes
days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
when I want to run away
I drive off in my car
but whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are
all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside
In your eyes
the light the heat
In your eyes
I am complete
In your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
the heat I see in your eyes
From 'In your eyes' Peter Gabriel.
Location:Kobe
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